


Mental

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Comedy, Explicit Language, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post War, Post-War, Romance, The Quidditch Pitch: Eternity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-26
Updated: 2008-10-26
Packaged: 2018-10-27 14:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10810950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: There are times we don't need to be pushed over the brink of insanity; sometimes we jump.





	Mental

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Originally written for dramionedrabble, Welcome to my Nightmare Halloween Challenge on Live Journal, Day 2

The rain slammed violently against the window of Hermione's suite of rooms at Hogwarts on this October night. The Halloween Feast had drawn to a close, and she had completed her rounds as Head of Gryffindor House for the evening. Her lesson plan had been completed months in advance and she was, quite frankly, bored. This was the most rain Scotland had seen in a good bit, and if the truth be told she was going stir crazy. She had attempted to read a book, but even that wasn't holding her interest, so she pulled her nightdress over her head and tossed it aside, then donned a pair of jeans and blouse and started down the seventh floor corridor.

One good thing about becoming a teacher at Hogwarts was having free reign to roam the school at night. There were so many things to explore, and since taking the job, Harry had loaned her his map to do just that. Unfortunately, she was looking at the map, rather than where she was going when she ran smack into Draco Malfoy.

"You know, Granger, you might try actually looking where you're walking. I'm sure whatever you're reading will wait until you're actually standing still." He was smirking, as he always seemed to be these days. She side-stepped, and would have gone around him, but he put up an arm to block her way. "What, Granger? No snarky retort? I'm disappointed."

She rolled her eyes and pulled herself up to her full height. "They call it leading by example, Malfoy. You might try it, seeing as how the Headmistress had what was obviously a momentary lapse in sanity when she hired you on to teach here."

"Oh-ho-ho," Draco said, "so you think she had to be mad to hire a bloke like me?"

"Obviously," she said matter-of-factly, and made another attempt to push past him, which was once more thwarted.

"So what are you doing up at this hour, Granger?" he asked. "The castle ghosts are especially rambunctious this fine Halloween evening. I think it has something to do with the storm."

"Well, let's just say I'm not up to visit with you."

"But that last 'visit' we had _was_ very much to your liking, or at least that's how I remember it."

She was never going to live this down, and honestly, she hadn't been able to get him or _it_ out of her mind lately. Just the memory of his hands touching her and his lips kissing her and—she shook her head to clear the images. She had vowed not to let that happen again.

"What's that in your hand?" he asked, and before she could respond, he jerked it from her grasp. Their meeting had so startled her that she hadn't cleared the map so it was open for his viewing. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

"They call these maps," she said snarkily, and jerked it from his grasp. "You might learn these things before attempting to teach our youth, _Professor_."

"Going exploring are we?" he asked, ignoring her snarky comment in the excitement of exploration.

"No, _we_ are not doing anything. _I_ am going exploring." She turned on her heel and started back the way she came. She rolled her eyes when she heard his footsteps follow. _Annoying prat!_

She turned to tell him to shove off, but he was, as usual, not so easily dissuaded. "Draco—"

"Oh, come on, Hermione," he said. "You're not the only one who's going stir crazy with all of this rain. Let me come with you. Besides, you might need me to protect you. I've heard the Bloody Baron's in a foul temper tonight."

Hermione sighed in defeat. She feared the Bloody Baron on a good day, and if he was in a foul temper… "Fine you can come, but behave yourself."

The sneer returned. "What's wrong, Granger? Afraid if I make a move, you might not be able to control yourself?"

"You wish," she muttered, but deep down, she wasn't so sure his comment was far off the mark.

"Is that right? Well, I bet if we made a trip to the Room of Requirement, we'd find a bed in there just ready and waiting for us."

"Funny," she said, "but I don't recall a bed being a necessary part of the equation before." She heard his snigger and turned her attention to the map. "Hm, I don't think I've explored this tunnel beneath the school before."

She led the way down several flights of stairs and into one of the lowest points of the school. They had traveled a good portion of the tunnel by the light of their wands when she stopped and said, "We must be beneath the—" At that moment water came pouring down from overhead soaking her.

"The lake?" he finished for her. "It would appear this tunnel's sprung a leak."

"You don't say?"

He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her forward. "Come on. If I'm not mistaken, we're close to the Slytherin dormitories and my suite of rooms. Let's see about getting you into a hot shower," he said.

Her chattering teeth stopped her from protesting.

He navigated the tunnel with ease, and she gasped in astonishment when he entered a side chamber off the tunnel. "You knew this was here all along, and you've been letting me try and navigate that map for hours."

"Of course," he said without further explanation.

"I should curse your bits off, you prat."

He sniggered and pulled her tight against him. "I'm sure we could think of more productive things for you to do with my bits, Granger." He gyrated his hips suggestively against her then, much too soon for her taste, he released her and pushed forward as though nothing had happened and continued talking about the tunnel. "I discovered it our second year at school. It's a back way into the Slytherin dormitories." He turned a few corners and they were at the door to his suite of rooms. He crossed the threshold and something green and slimy atop the door tipped over and covered him thoroughly.

He was quite a sight standing there covered in green slime. He muttered a fair few curses beneath his breath about how he hoped 'they' had enjoyed this Halloween prank for it might well be 'their' last night alive.

"I see the members of your House like you about as much as I do," she said, when he returned from the loo where she could now hear water running in the shower.

"You think this is funny, do you?" he asked, his face only inches from hers.

"Why yes, Professor Malfoy, I do," she said, giggling.

"Good," he said, "then you should find this fucking hilarious." He heaved her over his shoulder, smacked her hard on the bottom when she protested, and strode straight into the shower with both of them still completely clothed.

He set her on her feet and left her plenty of room to walk out as he tilted his head back to wash the slimy substance from his face and hair. He shook this wet hair and pushed it back from his face, then looked down at her and cocked an eyebrow. "Still here?"

"I really must be mental," she said under her breath. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a heated kiss.

Fin.


End file.
